"Nice Guys Finish Last"

So it's currently 6:30 AM and I'm not sleeping. This has actually been reoccurring these past few nights because for my personally, it's hard to fall asleep if I have something on my mind. Instead of trying to just put it in the back of my mind, here I am at 6:30 AM blogging.

So while I'm trying to gather my thoughts about what exactly to say, I look on my buddy list to see if there is anyone as crazy as I am to be up at 6:30 AM. My friend Crystal who is typically on around this time because she's in Australia and Danny who is probably going fishing are both on. I decide to ask them about their opinions on the topic of 'nice guys finish last' Coincidentally, Crystal just wrote about this a few weeks ago on her blog. Her beliefs are the reason girls pick 'jerks' over 'nice guys' are in short, because of "hormones. the thrill. to be "the exception." that 'fix it' mentality. We're stupid." She also adds that this site "http://www.justaguything.com/the-top-5-things-jerks-do-to-get-women/" does a good job of portraying why women choose 'jerks' over 'nice guys.' She also believes that if nice guys were to combine their 'niceness' with some of the things mentioned on the site and they'll be "good to go"

I proceeded to ask Danny about his feelings about the topic and he simply stated that he doesn't believe its true and "nice guys will prevail."

I think there is some truth in the sentence just based on the guys my close friends have dated. I think on numerous occasions I've had my friends tell me about how controlling/jealous their boyfriends can be. Is this behavior considered "jerk-like?" In more than one instance I wasn't even allowed to talk to my friend because the boyfriend didn't want her talking to me and constantly checked her phone to make sure I wasn't contacting her. I know I don't have the most experience in relationships and my beliefs may be a bit naive but I would hope I could trust my girlfriend enough not to be constantly hounding her and limiting who she can talk to. I'm not saying all guys are jerks because some of my closest friends have girlfriends and I can truthfully say they treat their girlfriends very well. I guess looking at some of my closest friends, Caleb, Eugene and Ken have all been long term relationships and don't exactly portray any of these "jerk-like" traits. I think even though me and my former roommate John would joke about Eugene being too soft when it came to his relationship, I think in reality he is treating Grace exactly how she should be treated. In Ken's situation, he also seems to treat his girlfriend ideally. Also, seeing the sacrifices that both Caleb and Erika have to make to keep their relationship going strong is admirable considering of the long distance deal and nobody can say his behavior is "jerk-like" It's guys like my friends who make the phrase 'nice guys finish last' seem so fictional. So I guess I just wonder why some girls still seem to go after the jerks? Do those traits listed on the site really prevail that much?

I KNOW I am far from perfect and may not be the nicest person in the world but I'd like to think I do my best to make people happy. I've had my fair share of bad experiences as far as dating and in all honesty I still think about some of them today. I know I should forgive and forget but it's easier said then done. I'm sure that I have some fault, whether it was how I acted or choosing to date the wrong girls or it was just poor timing. I guess there is no clear cut answer as to whether "nice guys finish last." I'd like to think of myself as a "nice" guy (my friend Angel recently reassured me of this a few days ago and said I actually was one, hopefully it was heartfelt, haha) but sometimes I think I just could be "too" nice if there is such thing. In the past I've asked myself "why this" or "why that" and I've heard the famous "I'm not ready for a relationship" one too many times. Looking back I've asked myself "what was I thinking?" realizing that it would've never worked out anyway and I'm glad it never did. A couple times I had been warned by friends but trusted myself instead of their judgment which has gotten me into trouble. Perhaps it's just bad timing and as many have told me, better things are ahead.

This is by no means a post for anyone to feel sorry for me because all those experiences in the past I've learned from and has made me stronger/better so there is no need to feel sorry. As my friend Miranda (do you feel special? that's two posts in a row) said, my friends always support me and I have "an interconnectedness with people that keeps me going."




Patience is a virtue.